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Reflections on Eating Disorder Recovery: development and narcissistic abuse

rsz pink roses mothers day

After over 30 years of doing eating disorder recovery work with adults I clearly see that the disorder developed as a way of coping with otherwise insurmountable emotional distress.

The cause may be a natural developmental weakness or a healthy developmental process that is thwarted by subtle or blatant trauma. Cause varies with the individual. Either way, and recovery has to do with rebooting and nurturing the natural and healthy developmental process in the person.

Power of Warmth and Kindness in Healing


reading to a child
One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.

Carl Jung

If, when you look back at a stressful time in your life, check to see where even only moments of warmth and kindness touched you.
If you find those moments, remember, and build on that gift to your soul that helped you survive.

Self-Talk for more personal space and freedom

snake plant in red pot
A shelf in my office in front of a window. 

Using dream analysis and guided imagery methodology you can dialogue with your obstacles and discover opportunity.  Here’s an example that gives both sides of your dilemma a voice.

If you are depressed, claustrophobic, engaging in poor stress relief habits like overeating or drinking to calm or numb yourself you may be adding to your lethargy or downright paralysis about clearing your clutter.

This physical and emotional situation is a call to hopelessness and despair while the life you want grows more distant and unreachable.

You can become accustomed to your clutter so you no longer see it, or worse, it feel familiar and homey.

 Example of Self-talk and conversation with clutter

Virtual Psychotherapy: what's it like? a video

Virtual psychotherapy is now the standard way of delivering services. If you've been in therapy and switch from seeing your therapist in person to seeing her online or on Facetime you may miss the personal presence and setting.  But you are grateful that your work continues with the person you trust and with whom you have developed a history.

If you are new to psychotherapy or new to the psychotherapist you are considering, what's it like to start work online? Your questions may include: 

1. What's it like to be with this person?
2. How will I feel with her?
3. I get a sense of a person when I am with them. How will I get that sense over a monitor?
4. I need support and warmth. Isn't virtual psychotherapy cold?
5. How can I share intimate personal information to a stranger on a screen?
6. How can she know me if she just sees my face on a screen?
7. What happens in online psychotherapy?
8. I need help. Can this kind of therapy work?

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