Welcome to Joanna Poppink’s Healing Library for Midlife Women
Psychotherapy insights, tools, and support for your journey
Poppink psychotherapy transforms self-doubt and limited beliefs into strength, growth and change.
Move from compliance to authentic living.
Joanna Poppink, MFT
Depth Psychotherapist
serving Arizona, California, Florida and Oregon.
All appointments are virtual.
Please email Joanna for a free telephone consultation. [email protected]
Psychotherapy and eating disorder recovery work take many forms. In this extensive grouping you'll find articles, links and discussions that include stories of individuals working through their healing process and descriptions of different treatment approaches. Issues include trust, bingeing, starving, sexuality, fear, anxiety, triumphs, abuse, shame, dream work, journal keeping and more. Discussions regarding insurance and finances are here as well. Reading these articles and participating in discussions will give you deep and varied windows into eating disorder recovery treatment.
Licensed Psychotherapist – Depth-Oriented Healing for Adults
Life disruption preparedness is more than stored extra water, canned goods and board games in the closet. We often think of planning as a practical activity—saving money, assembling emergency kits, and organizing documents. But there's another layer to preparation, one that psychotherapy addresses: emotional and psychological readiness.
Before a crisis strikes—whether it's personal, collective, or existential—your ability to face what's difficult to imagine can become a quiet strength. You don't just plan for what to do. You prepare for how to be.
Courage to think and know who you are often begins in depth psychotherapy
Courage Now: Psychotherapy as an Act of Courage and Resistance
By Joanna Poppink, MFT
Private Depth Psychotherapy for Women in Midlife and Beyond
Courage Now: Summary
Psychotherapy as an Act of Courage and Resistance explores how depth psychotherapy can serve as a powerful response to personal pain and collective injustice. Drawing on the author’s experience with renowned psychoanalyst Hedda Bolgar—who resisted Nazi oppression—the piece argues that therapy is not just self-care but moral action.
In a world where truth is censored and vulnerability punished, therapy helps individuals cultivate emotional resilience, inner authority, and the capacity to act from conscience. Featuring quotes from Carl Jung, Viktor Frankl, Audre Lorde, Toni Morrison, and others, the article positions psychotherapy as a space for liberation, truth-telling, and courageous self-examination.
Narcissistic abuse from a parent can leave lasting scars, especially when the abuse was woven into the fabric of your childhood as "normal." Healing requires deep, courageous inner work to reclaim your sense of self, trust your reality, and create boundaries where none were allowed.
Below are key challenges often faced in recovery.
1. Narcissistic Abuse by a Parent Leaves a Legacy of Brain Fog
Children of narcissistic parents often live in a state of chronic confusion. They’re told things didn't happen when they did. Their feelings are dismissed or twisted. They are made responsible for the emotional weather in the household. Over time, this leads to what many describe as brain fog—a lingering sense of disorientation that continues into adulthood.
You may struggle to make decisions, second-guess your own memory, or feel lost in conversations that require emotional nuance. This isn’t a character flaw. It’s the result of having to suppress your own reality to survive in a distorted emotional environment.
2. Narcissistic Abuse by a Parent Often Includes Normalizing Abandonment
When a child is physically sick, injured, or emotionally distressed, they need care. A narcissistic parent often withdraws, minimizes, or even blames the child for their pain. Over time, the child stops expecting comfort. She may come to believe that needing care is selfish or shameful.
As an adult, you might find yourself minimizing your own pain or apologizing when you're ill. You may isolate instead of asking for help. Recognizing and unlearning this internalized abandonment is essential to building a compassionate relationship with yourself.
3. Watching Other Children Receive What You Were Denied
One of the most painful aspects of narcissistic abuse is the moment you realize what you didn’t get. Maybe you saw classmates whose privacy was respected. Friends whose parents encouraged their interests, came to their performances, or noticed their moods.
You knew, even then, that your world was different—but you may have buried that knowledge to avoid the pain. Revisiting it now, with an adult’s understanding, can bring sorrow—but also clarity. It wasn't you. You were deprived of something essential, and your longing is legitimate.
4. Guilt, Fear, and Self-Doubt When You Begin to Put Yourself First
Survivors of narcissistic parenting often feel panic when they begin to set boundaries or prioritize their own well-being. A lifetime of conditioning taught them that self-care is selfish, and that asserting their needs will lead to rejection or punishment.
You might feel guilty when you say no. You might fear retaliation when you ignore a narcissist’s demands. You may even sabotage your progress just to avoid feeling these emotions. These reactions are predictable—and they are reversible. Guilt and fear fade as your inner self grows stronger and safer within your own care.
5. Narcissistic Abuse by a Parent Produces Shock and Grief in Adulthood Realizations
One of the most startling parts of healing is the recognition that your adult life may be populated by people who mirror your original narcissistic parent. This isn't your fault. The familiarity of these dynamics can make them feel oddly “right,” even as they cost you dearly.
As you become more self-aware, you may begin to identify patterns: being the emotional caretaker in relationships, deferring to domineering bosses or friends, or feeling trapped in manipulative family dynamics.
The discovery can be devastating. It can feel like your whole life was built on false loyalty. But it also marks a turning point. You can now begin the difficult and liberating work of confronting these patterns—of daring to take care of yourself and live a life that honors your truth.
Healing is Possible
Recovery takes time. It involves grieving what you didn't receive, learning to protect and honor your emotional life, and building relationships based on mutual respect. With support, whether through psychotherapy, community, or personal reflection, you can move from survival to thriving.
Summary
Narcissistic abuse from a parent can distort a child’s emotional development and lead to brain fog, abandonment wounds, suppressed needs, and difficulty setting boundaries. Recovery includes recognizing these patterns, grieving what was lost, and building a new relationship with yourself based on self-care, clarity, and inner freedom.
FAQ
Q: Is it normal to feel worse before feeling better when addressing narcissistic abuse? Yes. Healing often begins with confronting painful truths. The discomfort is part of releasing the false narratives that kept you compliant and stuck.
Q: Why do I keep attracting narcissists into my life? It’s not your fault. These dynamics feel familiar and may seem safe—even when harmful. With awareness and boundaries, this pattern can change.
Q: How can I stop feeling guilty for putting myself first? Guilt is a learned response. It fades as you consistently choose self-respect and experience the benefits of healthier relationships.
Private Depth Psychotherapy for Women in Midlife and Beyond Specializing in eating disorder recovery, narcissistic abuse recovery, emotional healing, and personal transformation later in life.
Licensed in California, Florida, Arizona, and Oregon – all appointments are virtual.
📬 To arrange a free 20-minute phone consultation, email:This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
After over 30 years of doing eating disorder recovery work with adults, I see examples of how the disorder developed as a way of coping with otherwise insurmountable emotional distress.
The cause may be a natural developmental weakness or a healthy developmental process that is thwarted by subtle or blatant trauma. Causes vary with the individual. Either way, recovery has to do with rebooting and nurturing the natural and healthy developmental process in the person.
