Jan, I know it's a huge challenge, but this is the time to stay true to yourself, try to remain conscious of who you are the whole time - you're not your mother's to manipulate as she sees fit, you are a person in your own right who should be treated with respect. And the sad truth is, yes you might upset her, or you might have crossed words...but it is part of the process of respecting yourself as a whole and in turn asking others to respect you as a whole...you need to redefine your relationship with your mum, or you will always be trapped leading a dual life. Hope you have a fun time! x