Dear Shh and Kym, It wonderful to see how you support each other. Kym, you are describing feelings that come in hard but necessary realizations. Every step in our development (in recovery and beyond) involves creating greater sturdiness of self so we can be there for ourselves. People show up for us in different ways depending on their agenda. They support, share, come to learn, come out of duty, come to celebrate. When we are fragile and needy we need their support. As we develop we appreciate their presence if they are sincere in wanting to be there. The more secure and developed we become the more solid we are in showing up for ourselves and what is important to us. You love bell ringing! It's wonderful to be able to share that love with others. At the same time, the love for the bell ringing is in you. You bring it with you. You carry it always. That love always shows up for you. Can you learn to rest in that love and rely on it? :)