You're right, I have been thinking of recovery as enjoying all the new discoveries about myself. Before this, I have enjoyed actually feeling "negative" feelings like anger, but this one was hard for me.
I know little Kym gave me a repressed memory now because she felt I was ready for it, but I've forgotten that "being ready for it" means working through the pain, not the ability to numb it out in a more "healthy" way.
I did reach out to my support systems yesterday and did some self care things....but I also made some mistakes around my eating. But it's a new day and I will take what I learned and move forward. Thanks