Claiming the Lost Self: An Essential Task for Midlife Women — a seven part series.

You may begin with the series introduction here

What you said really made me stop and think. One aspect of how I exercise control is to not allow myself any pleasure. I've interpreted pleasure as self indulgent and undeserved. Therefore it is one more thing to be controlled by determination and willpower. Then I guess I have learned to find a form of pleasure in my ability to be in control. But... Is that really pleasure? If not, what is it?

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