In regard to the traps, I definately know they exist. Sometimes I recognize them in people right away. Especially at work. There are people at work who have triggering theme songs they "sing" over and over that I can't avoid so I get a lot of practice. One of my triggers is getting left out. Others are having my opinion be dismissed or having someone be disappointed in me. Usually I get a very familiar strong wounded feeling and I know what is happening but I don't always know what to do except acknolwedge that it's happening again and try to calm myself.  I'm not sure I understand what you mean Joanna about "help yourself heal your way out".