These two sentences speak so strongly to me: In fact, you are (or were) resigned to live with an eating disorder that prevents you from becoming aware of more possibilities. You have been blocking what you fear to know in order to maintain peace in your life. As I work on my recovery I am starting to glimpse little bits of possibilities. It is hard to hold on to those bits as I am so used to letting fear tell me that I can never have those things or that trying to have those things will only bring unhappiness or even danger. I would like to get strong enough to tell fear to step aside so I can see for myself whether a life with more fun and freedom and flexibility is possible.