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If you suffer from an eating disorder now or have in the past, please email Joanna for a free telephone consultation.

 joanna@poppink.com

 

Eating Disorder Recovery
Joanna Poppink, MFT
Eating Disorder Recovery Psychotherapist
serving Arizona, California, Florida, Oregon and Utah.
All appointments are virtual.

 

ok, thanksgiving was hard but not as bad as it could have been. I tried to stay positive, move around a lot, and not allow anyone to "watch me" for any extended amount of time. My mother did start the day by loudly announcing to those in the room that I am just losing "so much weight"...I shot her down with a glare and a few words, but later apologized and kindly asked her to not talk about my weight around the family. I found it hard to eat very much, but I enjoyed the time with my family, I really did. Later, after the kids went to bed I made myself a small plate of little teaspoons of certain foods I had brought home because I was so hungry and because I wanted to eat alone. Bad thoughts consumed me but I kept repeating the word nuture to myself...I don't feel I buy into this word yet, but it was a little mantra I had that kept me from purging the very little bit of food I had eaten. I am angry with myself, but the rational part of me says I deserve to eat, that a couple hundred calories won't have an impact on the way I look or a weight on a scale. I know I write so much on this site, and I am sorry, but I really feel this is the support I have needed for so long..it is really a great adjunct to working with my therapist (who is excited to work with me through this book). I am so desperate to heal. Thank you for letting me go on and on and on....

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