melanie, what I see as the good news here for you, is that you have great insight into your situation. This doesn't make it easier to deal with or to "fix", but it gives you a platform from which to jump. My mom could be pretty emotionally and verbally abusive at times, and one thing I am working hard on, is stopping the cycle with my generation. Her mother was pretty rough on her, and she in turn, was pretty rough on me. I often have to stop myself when I am seeing or noticing similar traits in myself. It sounds like you are able to do the same thing. tracy