Just be patient. My "harmful patterns" of indiscriminate sexual relationships occurred many drunk and high years ago. Now, sober, I have no desire to have sex. I avoid dating and relationships because of this. I have lost relationships because of my fears. I want to know and feel that it is truly ok if I just want to be single, raise my girls and not have to deal with sex at all. My therapist and I talk about this, but she doesn't push me to talk about it more than I am able to, at any given session. We know it's the pink elephant in the room. I would like to work on my general mistrust of men and my assumption that all men are bad. I honestly have come to believe that the only thing men want is sex, that is all they think about, and it's where they want to end up at the end of the date. I have been physically and emotionally violated so many times that I am having a hard time moving through this topic in therapy. So, just patience...lots and lots of patience.