Joanna, your phrase "Don't wait to live the life you want until you've lost weight" makes sense on so many levels...but there is one level that is a real sticking point for me, and that is clothing & appearance. I started my uni course, I've made a real effort to improve my social life, I'm more open and welcoming to the girls' friends and invite them round to play instead of dreading the girls asking to bring friends home, I stand up for myself more, I am more confident in many ways...and in all those ways Ive got past my weight/size as a barrier...butI feel a mess, and I look a mess...I bought the new car last spring, and now I wear it like an overcoat to give me false confidence...but outside of my car, I am nothing. How can you live confidently, when you see the clothes/shoes/hair that you want to wear, but on you they look ridiculous because you're so fat. My therapist had a go at me saying "why don't you buy and wear the clothes that you like?" and the answer is, because how they look on other people, and how they look on me, are 2 completely different things - when I try on something I like and I look awful in it, it really knocks my confidence...and I don't know what to do differently