Joanna - your explanation is SO helpful. I got the highest rating in my group at work for annual review last year and I've been terrified ever since. Now it makes total sense - I feel completely exposed for having being recognized as special. It's hard to remind myself that nothing bad will happen. The other kind of special -- the caring kind -- since ED escalated the last couple of years I feel like if I am special to someone I am taking something from them or am a burden and they will leave me.