Dear Jackie,

Keep journaling.  Memories don't come when they are forced. 

What's important now is for you to discover your truth: what's important to you, what you care about, what you want to pursue in life, what you want to build that is the true home for you and for what and whom you love.

Journal without an agenda.  Months later you can read what you wrote and discover more about yourself than you realized you were putting on the page. There's more to you than you know.

You are a survivor.  You survived all this pain, betrayal and confusion.  That means you have strength and psychological agility.  Trust it and just journal your way to your here and now.  That will come.

You've done so well already!

Brava!