Hi Laura, "Practice" is the key word. You practice. Most of the exercises in Healing Your Hungry Heart are designed to help you slow down and be present for what's happening in the moment. Following them is one way, a powerful way, to introduce yourself to being the ocean and not the wave. Even watching the ocean - in real life - or on film or video - can help teach your unconscious and your psyche to see the difference between the ocean and the wave. You gradually learn that the waves are created and destroyed on a regular basis forever, but the ocean always remains.