Of course I have been in both places. Lately however, I have come to rely less on the comfort and holding of those people in public forums such as this. That is not necessarily a good thing.  I think it is a form of shutting down and trying to stay more private with my feelings...not as trusting as I used to be...I do rely on my therapist for these things.  I tend to push away her comforting as well, but she utilizes a lot of the holding technique with me, and lets me come to my own conclusions often enough. When I start to drift away, she will just talk and talk lol, trying to get me back to earth. I have a few very close friends who i can talk to and who can talk to be. We reciprocate equally, none of us burning out the others. Overall, I think I am in a better place with my depression. I am on better meds for my chronic pain, which was really lending toward my emotional distress, as I have come to find out.  I don't feel like I need to talk as much on here, rather, listen and see how everyone is doing, keeping everyone in prayers often.