Strength and rooted confidence despite workplace betrayal.
Summary
Talented women are often targeted at work by jealous executives and insecure colleagues. This article explores why and how workplace sabotage occurs, the psychology of envy in leadership, the toll this takes women, and how depth psychotherapy facilitates the transformation of betrayal into independence and strength.
A Case Story: When Excellence Threatens Mediocrity
A professional woman in a large, respected organization had built her reputation through years of high-quality work. She consistently met challenges, was given increasing responsibility, and became a trusted leader in her field.
But one senior executive noticed her rise and felt threatened. With a polished smile and a facade of support, this executive quietly worked to undermine her — discrediting her work, seeding doubt in meetings, and subtly adding stress to her workload.
At first, the woman treated each incident as an isolated misunderstanding. She tried harder, believing her performance would protect her. But the pattern only escalated. Eventually, the executive crossed a line — exposing confidential material to embarrass her publicly. To others, the ploy failed. But for the woman, it confirmed the truth: the attacks were not occasional; they were systemic, and they would not stop.
Why Talented Women Are Targeted
Sabotage at work often has little to do with performance. Instead, it reflects deeper psychological forces:
- Envy in leadership: Insecure leaders feel diminished by excellence. Rather than grow, they attack.
- Projection: The saboteur disowns their own feelings of inadequacy by projecting them onto the target.
- Fear of disruption: Organizations often prefer the “safe” mediocrity of familiar executives to the brilliance of rising women.
- Control: By undermining talent, a jealous leader maintains centralized power and keeps employees compliant.
This is the psychology of workplace jealousy and sabotage: excellence becomes a threat, and mediocrity is preserved to protect fragile authority.
How Sabotage Manifests
Women may recognize sabotage in patterns such as:
- Being discredited subtly in meetings.
- Confidential information was shared inappropriately.
- Colleagues smiling while sowing doubt behind the scenes.
- Sudden increases in workload are designed to cause failure.
- Being passed over for recognition or promotion despite strong performance.
- A constant atmosphere of “fake support” masking hostility.
Each act may appear small on its own. Together, they form a relentless erosion of confidence and stability.
The Cost of Being Undermined
The toll on women targeted in this way is enormous:
- Emotional: Profound sorrow, indignation, fear, disillusionment.
- Physical: Stress-related ailments, fatigue, headaches, insomnia.
- Professional: Loss of loyalty to the organization, stalled advancement, or the painful choice to leave.
This goes beyond ordinary workplace politics and becomes sabotage. It is betrayal that strikes at the identity, self-worth, and health.
Why Organizations Protect Mediocrity
Organizations often reward mediocrity and punish excellence because:
- Jealous leaders feel threatened by competent subordinates.
- Mediocre employees maintain stability, avoiding disruption.
- Compliance is safer than growth for insecure leadership teams.
- Fear keeps talent contained — workers become too stressed or disillusioned to leave.
This dynamic exploits talented women under toxic leadership, drains capable employees, and preserves a culture of fear.
The Turning Point: From Betrayal to Independence
With the support of depth psychotherapy, the woman in this story found a way forward. Therapy gave her space to process grief, see the pattern clearly, and recognize that the problem was not her performance, but the organizational choice to protect mediocrity.
Eventually, she made the courageous decision to leave. She launched her own practice, free from of the cycle of workplace jealousy and sabotage.
Through therapy, she learned how to deal with being undermined at work — not by fighting endlessly within the system, but by stepping outside it, as well as acknowledging her competence and value, to reclaim her authority and peace.
Lessons for Women in Toxic Workplaces
- Repeated undermining is rarely about you. It is about another person’s insecurity.
- Don’t explain away the pattern. A single incident may be a misunderstanding; a relentless pattern is sabotage.
- Disillusionment is painful but necessary. It clears away illusions about loyalty and fairness.
- Your health is the alarm bell. Chronic stress is not sustainable.
- Independence may be safer than loyalty. Leaving can be the step that restores authority and purpose.
FAQ
Q: Why do organizations protect mediocre executives instead of talented employees?
A: Because insecure leaders may feel threatened by excellence, and organizations often choose stability over growth.
Q: How can I tell if I’m being sabotaged at work?
A: Watch for consistent patterns — discrediting remarks, broken protocol, information leaks, or added stress designed to make you fail.
Q: What are the signs of workplace sabotage?
A: Subtle discrediting, breaking protocol, leaking confidential material, increasing stress deliberately, or giving “support” laced with hostility.
Q: How does workplace sabotage affect health?
A: It often causes anxiety, stress-related illness, sleep problems, and deep emotional disillusionment. Symptoms can include neck pain, back pain, teeth grinding, headaches, fatigue.
Q: How can psychotherapy help women in toxic workplaces?
A: Therapy provides recognition of harmful patterns, helps women process betrayal, and supports them in building the courage to set boundaries, leave, or create independent paths.
Resources
- Books:
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- In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People by George Simon
- The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout
- Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés (on feminine strength and intuition)
- Healing Your Hungry Heart: Recovering from Your Eating Disorder by Joanna Poppink, MFT (on healing deprivation and reclaiming self) Healing Your Hungry Heart
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- Articles:
- Harvard Business Review: What to Do When You Have a Bad Boss by Mary Abbajay
- Midlife Professional Women: Depth Psychotherapy for Hidden Patterns of Compliance
- Midlife Women: Choosing Your "Inner CEO"
- Articles:
Closing Invitation
✨ This story is anonymized and fictionalized to protect confidentiality, but it represents struggles many professional women face. If you recognize yourself here, you are not alone — and with support, you can move from disillusionment to independence.
Joanna Poppink, MFT
Depth-Oriented Psychotherapy for Midlife & Older Women; Virtual sessions in CA • AZ • FL • OR Please e-mail Joanna for a free telephone consultation.
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