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If you suffer from an eating disorder now or have in the past, please email Joanna for a free telephone consultation.



Eating Disorder Recovery
Joanna Poppink, MFT
Eating Disorder Recovery Psychotherapist
serving Arizona, California, Florida, Oregon and Utah.
All appointments are virtual.


a job layoff has many emotional challenges for the layoff messenger
Experiencing a situation where you are the layoff messenger and must inform a few or hundreds of people that they are losing their jobs can be incredibly challenging and emotionally charged. It's natural to have a mix of conflicting emotions, including survivor guilt, anxiety, compassion, and even relief.

Exploring the emotional weight of announcing a massive job layoff when you are not the decision maker:

Survivor Guilt:

Survivor guilt often arises when you witness others experiencing adversity while you remain in a relatively secure position. In this layoff

scenario, you may feel a sense of guilt for not being affected by the job losses like your colleagues. It's important to acknowledge these feelings and understand that they stem from empathy and a sense of interconnectedness. However, it's also essential to remind yourself that you are not directly responsible for the job losses and that your own position is not a result of someone else's misfortune.

Layoff Anxiety:

The weight of delivering layoff news can bring about a significant amount of anxiety. The fear of how people will react, the impact it will have on their lives, and the potential repercussions can be overwhelming. It's crucial asrecognize and address your own anxiety, perhaps by seeking support from a trusted friend, family member, or a professional counselor. By acknowledging your anxiety, you can better manage it and focus on carrying out your responsibilities effectively.


Compassion plays a vital role in navigating challenging situations. While delivering the news of job losses, it's important to approach the affected individuals with empathy and understanding. Show genuine concern for their well-being and provide support in any way you can, such as offering resources for job search, career counseling, or severance packages. Demonstrating compassion can help alleviate some of the guilt you may be feeling by actively assisting those impacted by this layoff.

Layoff Relief:

It's not uncommon to experience a sense of relief when your own job expands and includes new responsibilities while others are facing job losses. This feeling arises from the understanding that your own livelihood is secure, and it can sometimes be accompanied by guilt. It's crucial to acknowledge this relief while simultaneously recognizing that you are not responsible for the difficult situation others are facing. Use this relief as an opportunity to contribute positively by supporting those affected, both professionally and emotionally.

In such challenging circumstances, it's important to strike a balance between recognizing your own emotions and maintaining professionalism. Seek support, practice self-care, and demonstrate compassion towards those who are impacted by the layoff. By acknowledging and managing your feelings, you can fulfill your expanded role with empathy and integrity, fostering a supportive environment for both yourself and your colleagues.

Sense of Responsibility:

As you take on the responsibility of delivering the news and supporting those affected, it's crucial to acknowledge the weight of your role. Recognize that you are an integral part of the process, and your actions can make a difference in how people navigate this challenging period. Take the time to plan your communication strategy carefully, ensuring that you provide clarity, empathy, and practical assistance to those impacted. Your willingness to step up and handle this difficult layoff task speaks to your professionalism and integrity.

Emotional Impact:

The process of informing individuals about job losses can have a profound emotional impact on you as well. It's natural to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, frustration, and even anger at the circumstances that led to these job losses. Remember to acknowledge and validate your own emotions while maintaining professionalism. Find healthy outlets to process your feelings, such as talking to a supportive colleague, engaging in self-reflection, and talking with a psychotherapist.

Layoff Growth Opportunities:

As a layoff messenger you will experience challenges and conflicting emotions.  It's important to recognize the growth opportunities that arise from this experience as well. Your expanded responsibilities provide an opportunity for personal and professional development. Embrace the chance to enhance your leadership skills, empathy, and resilience. By approaching the situation with a growth mindset, you can navigate the complexities and learn valuable lessons that will benefit you and your career in the long run.


Throughout this process, it's crucial to prioritize self-care. Supporting others through difficult times can take a toll on your own well-being. Take breaks, practice self-compassion, and engage in activities that help you recharge and stay resilient. By taking care of yourself during this transition, you'll be better equipped to handle the challenges that come your way and support others effectively.

Remember that emotions can be complex and multifaceted, especially in situations as challenging as a mass layoff. It's okay to experience a mix of feelings. Acknowledging and processing them is essential for your own well-being. Balancing compassion and professionalism will allow you to fulfill your responsibilities while providing support to those impacted.

Team Support:

As you navigate this layoff period, it's important to foster a sense of support and unity within your team. Encourage open and honest communication, allowing individuals to express their emotions and concerns. Create a safe space for discussions, providing resources and support for those who may need it. By fostering a supportive team environment, you can collectively navigate the challenges and provide a sense of solidarity during this uncertain time.

Learning from the Layoff Experience:

Going through a situation where you must deliver difficult news and witness job losses can be a transformative experience. It can deepen your understanding of the human impact of organizational decisions and help you develop greater empathy and resilience. Take the opportunity to reflect on the experience, identify lessons learned, and consider how you can apply those lessons in the future. Use this experience to grow both personally and professionally and strive to create more compassionate and inclusive work environments moving forward.

Seek Guidance and Support:

 Throughout this process, don't hesitate to seek guidance and support from mentors, colleagues, or external resources. Sharing your own feelings and concerns with trusted individuals can provide valuable insights and help you navigate your emotional challenges. Additionally, organizations often have resources available, such as employee assistance programs or counseling services, that can provide further support during difficult times.

Acknowledge Your Role:

As a layoff messenger it’s essential that you be kind to yourself. Self reflect as honestly as you can. Acknowledge that you have a range of feelings you can appreciate and also condemn. Let judgments pass through you. Release them. It’s human to feel them, and it’s a mark of self-care that you let them go.

While it's essential to empathize with those who are losing their jobs, it's also important to acknowledge your own role and the positive impact you can have. By embracing your expanded responsibilities and approaching them with compassion and professionalism, you can provide support and guidance to those in need. Recognize that you have the opportunity to contribute to the rebuilding process, whether by offering career advice, networking opportunities, or emotional support.

Remind yourself that experiencing conflicting emotions during such a challenging period is natural and understandable. By maintaining a compassionate and empathetic approach, seeking support, and focusing on personal and professional growth, you can navigate these complex feelings and carry out your responsibilities in a manner that supports both yourself and those impacted.

Joanna Poppink, MFT, is a psychotherapist in private practice specializing in eating disorder recovery, stress, PTSD and adult development.

She is licensed in CA, AZ, OR, FL, UT. Author of Book: Healing Your Hungry Heart: recovering from your eating disorder 

Appointments are virtual.http://www.eatingdisorderrecovery.netFor a free telephone consultation e-mail her at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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