“I do not understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.”
--Anne Lamott

Through the exercises in this book and the check-in process, you are chipping away at the structure, the habits, the mindset, and the beliefs that have locked you into the prison of your eating disorder.

You don’t move through this rapidly.  Even if you could, it wouldn't be a good idea.  Moving through slowly gives you the experience of living a new and healthier way.  Most importantly, it gives your entire being and emotional structure many gentle healing and growing experiences.  You give yourself time to adjust to your new place in the world.  You grow with each step so that you are capable of taking the next.  Recognizing and honoring this part of your process is the ultimate kindness that will carry you through hard times and keep you healing and growing to freedom.

It’s not uncommon in my psychotherapy practice for a client new in recovery to feel that she has become clumsy.  She bumps into furniture or knocks her shoulder against the doorjamb as she leaves my office.  She might stumble over the threshold.

She’s not being clumsy.  Her center of gravity is shifting.  She is off balance because she is present emotionally and physically in a new way.  She’s not yet accustomed to her new normal, including the position of her body in space. She proceeds in her recovery work at a speed and level that matches her newly learned abilities to cope with change.

She needs to pause at each level as her mind, spirit, body, and sense of balance adjust. If she proceeds too fast, she will go beyond her ability to cope. That triggers feelings of fear and helplessness.

You can cope with a little fear and sense of helplessness as you move along on your recovery path.  Too much, and you adjust back to your last level of recovery.  You may need to journal more or bring back an exercise you thought you no longer needed.  Occasionally you will need to do this.  Please don’t criticize yourself when this happens.  It’s actually a time to celebrate because you went beyond your limits, recognized it, knew how to tke care of yourself, and did.  This is a great win in recovery.

 

Excerpt from Healing Your Hungry Heart: recovering from your eating disorder, by Joanna Poppink, MFT, Conari Press, 2011. Copyright protected August, 2011. Media Kit  http://healingyourhungryheart.com