Six Steps to Wake Up to Your Real Presence


Jean Kilbourne reveals the forces that pressure you into self doubt, fear, insecurity and limited perceptions of yourself. These forces fuel your eating disorder.  Below is her fabulous video and six steps to free yourself.




1. Listen to the eating disorder messages in your mind.

2. Watch this fabulous video and listen to woman defining societal messages.

3. What overlap do you see in these messages?

4. What's left out in these definitions of you?

5. List your real qualities that are omitted.

6. Honor these qualities on a daily basis.

The list you made of your real qualities not defined by your eating disorder or by societal messages is a list of your affirmations. These are your goals. These are what need to be honored by you. Once you recognize false definitions of yourself you can wake up to your real presence. You can focus your energy on what's real to you that makes your life meaningful and joyful.


What did you discover about your eating disorder voice?

What did you discover that was missing from societal definitions of you?

What's on your self definition list now that you will make a priority in your life?


Center for Media Literacy

Jean Kilbourne

Jean Kilbourne on Facebook

Killing Us Softly 3 Advertising's Image of Women



0 # I finally sat down long enough to watchtracy 2012-01-02 21:19
I finally sat down long enough to watch the video of Killing Us Softly. I recognize that the intent of this film was to showcase how women are supposed to look and act according to the media. I can see the connection trying to be made here in recognizing that societal ideals are not realistic, and to notice how these ideals impact young women, who carry these ideals into adulthood, and how these ideals affect our psyche. I can see the connection of how these ideals can lead to eating disorders, low self-esteem, and a feeling of not measuring up (to something that rarely even exists in real life). I can agree that I have let such images affect the way I view myself and my body. For these reasons, the film was beneficial to me. This was a triggering film for me, however, in regards to my sexual abuse history. As the video progressed, many images were terrifying to me. I felt my body going numb and my mind drifting into that all familiar fog. I found myself actually crying. Perhaps that is a reaction I was supposed to have? to be disturbed and upset? To be angry with how the media exploits the all too occurring instance of sexual and physical abuse? I couldn't handle the pictures, and finally stopped watching. I sit here still somewhat dazed and writing on auto pilot. I adopted my children, and have no idea what they may have experienced in their young lives prior to coming to live with me. I do know my oldest was exposed to living with a mom who prostituted and was drug addicted. I don't want her seeing these types of images, ever. But I know I can't control the media completely, and that makes me hurt for her.
0 # Yes, Jeane Kilbourne's video is powerfulpinkjoanna 2012-01-02 22:50
Yes, Jeane Kilbourne's video is powerful. I don't think there is a reaction you are supposed to have. You simply have the reaction you have.

I'm glad you stopped watching. And I'm glad you wrote here.

We live in a dangerous world - no question about it. We may have a fantasy that recovery from an eating disorder brings happiness and joy. It doesn't.

Recovery from an eating disorder gives us the opportunity to tolerate what we experience, develop courage, think realistically and make healthy decisions. And that's what gives us the opportunity to experience happiness and joy.

Our daughters are such precious beings. We want them safe, cherished, honored and given free range to explore and develop into the wondrous women they can be.

We protect them as much as we can while we have them. And they go out into the dangerous world.

So.... we need to equip them so they can survive and thrive.

They need awareness, courage, a strong belief in their self worth, a sturdy spirit that is resilient in a harsh environment, an appreciation of love and beauty so they recognize it when they see it and can make it happen for themselves.

We have to nurture that. We have to that in ourselves so we can nurture it in them - and set the example too.

Yes, we do need to be aware of the Kilbourne is showing us in Killing Us Softly. And we need to be able to stand up to it and not be crushed by it.

This is not easy. The material can be triggering, as was your experience. So we have to recognize when we are nearing the limits of what we can bear and stop. Not block or deny but stop short of retraumatizing ourselves while staying aware. Then, we build our strength and come back for more.

Our daughters will ask us questions. Or worse, they won't and begin to accept the exploiting messages. We have to be present and sturdy for what is so we can answer their questions, and wake them up when they numbly accept negative messages about their identities as women and the value of their souls.

We can't control the media. But we can pour so much goodness, self worth and health into our girls and ourselves that the messages become laughable and irrelevant to the real life of a real woman.
0 # thank you, Joanna. I am ok. Just wasn'tmylifex2 2012-01-03 08:04
thank you, Joanna. I am ok. Just wasn't prepared. I like what you wrote back to me. I think a goal for me throughout my recovery will be trying to figure out a way I can set this healthy example for my girls. I need to develop my own "sturdy spirit", but until then, I hope I can "fake it til I make it". I am working on all this in therapy, and for once, I am really trying. I still feel hopeful :-)
0 # Several years ago I quit buying magazineMelanie 2012-01-11 13:08
Several years ago I quit buying magazines because I got tired of the unrealistic presentations of women. After watching this video, I threw away a Victoria's Secret Catalog. I never realized how much this catalog objectified women. I am more than my breasts and my gluts. I am an intelligent blonde. I deserve to give and be given tender true love that has nothing to do with my outward appearance.
0 # You are Melanie!!!! and You do!! Lets alJan 2012-01-11 18:37
You are Melanie!!!! and You do!! Lets all keep reminding each other of that!! :-)


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