Relationships with friends and family influence and are influenced by eating disorder issues. Topics relate to individual perspectives, questions, stories and support for adults in various stages of recovery and for the people who love them. Extricating yourself from negative relationships and building positive relationships are discussed.  Communication, boundaries, love, self-esteem, emotional turbulence, abuse, ways to help and accept help are explored.

Teenager wants to help her anorexic and bulimic friend Part II: My Response

girlSurfest 07 Is Here 413364003Teen-age Maggie want to help her friend who struggles with a secret eating disorder. 

 My letter to her:

Maggie, yours is one of the most heartbreaking and challenging of all the requests I receive. Sadly, I receive many requests such as yours.

The girl you call your best friend is pushing you to a new threshold of awareness, maturity, clarity and responsibility. You may or may not cross that threshold.


Maggie, please consider this:

You call Lily your best friend. This girl you speak of is very ill. She suffers from anorexia which is an illness of mind, body and spirit. This distorts her view of others and especially of herself.

Mothers and daughters, I miss my mother

Recently Isabella Mori, a gifted psychotherapist in Vancouver, Canada interviewed me about eating disorders. One segment of three was about mothers and daughters.

Since that interview, I've been thinking and feeling more about my mother. She died two years ago at age 90 while brushing her teeth one innocuous morning in Sarasota, Florida.

How to Help a Friend Who Struggles with Bulimia

bulimia  struggle
Bulimia Story

Again I am asked:  "How can I help my bulimic friend without her going into treatment?"

Example: (not real names) Miranda and Trudy are both in their late twenties. Each has a husband and chidren.  They've been close friends for 16 years.

Trudy recently revealed her twelve year struggle with bulimia to Miranda. Trudy refuses treament. She only confides to Miranda about the bulimia.

Anorexia Voices: Cries for Help

Major Anorexia Treatment Block

Despite publicity around eating disorders today, a major block to treatment for some young people continues to be ignorance and a belief in the achievement of perfection.  Teen-agers may not get treatment because influential adults in their lives believe anorexia is created by willful stubbornness or because they believe the teen is an image of beautiful perfection.  Too often, anorexia propels a young person or an adult to a precarious state of health before treatment, usually residential, is sought.

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