Be with People You Can Learn From, Befriend Them
- Category: Friends and Family
Seek out people who inspire you, people you can learn from. Discover the joy of moving through life with people who are your teachers and friends. Discover the joy of being appreciated for what you teach by being your honest and natural self.
An eating disorder can isolate you in a way that you recognize. You remove yourself from other people and spend much time alone in hiding.
But an eating disorder can isolate you in ways that you may not recognize.
If your companions suffer from eating disorders themselves and are not committed to recovery, then your eating disorder is still isolating you from a world of health and opportunity. Someone active in their eating disorder way of life will support you in living the same way. If that's happening to you, then you place yourself in a bubble and keep a life of health and freedom out.
Who inspires you? Who lives in a way that you admire? Who is doing what you wish you could do? Who makes you think of things that open your imagination? Maybe you know them. Maybe you read or hear about them in the news. Maybe you read about them in books, or perhaps they have written the books. Maybe they are painters or musicans or teachers or CEO's. Maybe they seem to remain calm in adversity and rather than fight, seem to always look for peaceful solutions.
Or maybe they are not famous or reknown in any way, but seem to have happy families and a good relationship with their husbands in long term marriages. Maybe they laugh a lot and have friends they enjoy. Maybe their grown children take delight in visiting them.
If you are haunted by your eating disorder you might only recognize these people through envy. If you are envious that means you want what they have and probably have little or no idea of how to get it. Well, there's nothing wrong in wanting something.
Your envy may be helpful if you recognize it as a signal that you see something you'd like to have for yourself and need to pay attention to what is required of you. Envy may well be the mother of inspiration.
Your challenge is to break out of the eating disorder bubble and put yourself in environments where you are more close to these people. You can begin gently by staying home and reading their books or watching their films. You can go out and view their art. You can be more daring and take a class from them - in person is best.
If they are in the news, you can write them - more than once. If they are near your life somehow, you can invite them to lunch or tea or to join you in doing something you think they would enjoy.
Another angle is to have a learning experience in something they represent and later contact them with your new learning as a bridge. In other words, if you believe you have nothing in common with them, give yourself an experience that gives you something in common. Take a class, volunteer, visit a place.
To heal and recover from an eating disorder you need to grow beyond your present limitations. Eating disorder recovery is not about stopping the behavior. It's not about control. It's about regeneration. It's about reviving your natural development as a human being, a process that need never end for as long as you live. You can find a way to join in on the fun of living well and with people around you who are living well too.
What kind of people do you wish were your friends? Perhaps you already know someone you admire and wish was your friend. Do you?