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TOPIC: Introducing Myself

Introducing Myself 6 years 5 months ago #706

I'd like to introduce myself to this community. I'm 54, anorexic (off and on) for over 30 years. I started therapy 2 years ago. My weight hasn't yet changed.

I've been drawn to Joanna's approach to recovery. I've always believed that there is something inherently wrong with me. My sense of responsibility for seemingly every thing and every one is larger than me.

If I sense even a hint of displeasure or criticism from another my kneejerk reaction is to not only agree, but to intensify/increase/expound the criticism.

I'm hearing (but not yet practising) that it's okay to be kind to me. I'm hearing that my thoughts and feelings matter. Unfortunately, SI is a part of my life. I recently had a month's reprieve and I was so relieved believing it was over. It's not.

Sorry if my inaugural post also served as an over-share.
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Introducing Myself 6 years 5 months ago #707

Welcome Peggy. There is no "over share" here. You can write as much as you want :) And people here will be kind to you even when you can't.

Practicing self compassion is hard when we believe we are not deserving. I told my therapist last week that I felt sad because I was treating myself in a way I would not treat my best friend or my cat. It is good that you are hearing. That comes before knowing. I have more and more feelings of knowing as I try to tolerate big feelings and remember I am not wrong or bad. I have things I repeat over and over to myself when I want to SI or restrict like: forgive forgive, not bad, no need to hurt, must eat.

Again welcome and I hope you find some kindness for yourself today.
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Introducing Myself 6 years 5 months ago #708

Abhorrent. I get it. I thought maybe this site was somewhat forgiving. That's okay. I get that I need to find forgiveness first. I'm working on it.

Be well.
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Introducing Myself 6 years 5 months ago #709

Peggy - I apologize if I said something that offended you. My intent was to show kindness and be welcoming. Again, deepest apologies.
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Introducing Myself 6 years 5 months ago #710

Dear Peggy,

Can you please help us understand what you are experiencing? Sites aren't forgiving. People are. Please let us know what happened for you, and so quickly.

Thank you.

Joanna
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Joanna Poppink, MFT
psychotherapist, author, speaker, consultant via Skype.
author of: Healing Your Hungry Heart: recovering from your eating disorder. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
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Introducing Myself 6 years 5 months ago #711

I'm sifting and sorting. I'm looking for 'safe' and staying away from 'not safe'.

Perhaps I've over-stepped. Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned things that are not necessarily ED. My mistake. No worries.
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Introducing Myself 6 years 5 months ago #712

Dear Peggy,

Thank you for letting us know. I wish you every success in finding your way through your sifting and sorting.

warm regards,

Joanna
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Joanna Poppink, MFT
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author of: Healing Your Hungry Heart: recovering from your eating disorder. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
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Introducing Myself 6 years 5 months ago #713

Dear Peggy

Thank you for introducing yourself and sharing everything you have shared with us about yourself.

I'm not sure I fully understand how uncomfortable or unwelcoming this forum feels for you, but wanted to just echo Laura in saying that I have always felt very safe and supported when I have posted on this forum and found the people here very genuine and non-judgemental.

I hope you will continue to post here, keep testing how it feels for you, and hopefully at some point feel safer here than you seem to at present.

S x
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