Eating Disorder Recovery Tips for Everyone Concerned
- Category: Self-Help
"One Person Has An Eating Disorder,
Another Wants To Help Her Get Well."
Eating Disorder Recovery Tips for Everyone Concerned
By Joanna Poppink, MFT
Self care IS other care. True self care promotes healing and happiness.
What you give to yourself you also make possible to give to another.
What self care do you need? Is it in your life? How can you put it in your life?
- Listening to your heart
- Honoring your authentic values
- Saying “No” when you mean it
- Freeing yourself to say “Yes” when you mean it
- Eat when hungry
- Drink when thirsty
- Sleep when tired
In Feng Shui, health is in the center with no tasks for you to create it. Health happens when everything around the center is in balance.
Happiness is like that. You do nothing specific for direct happiness. When self care is in balance, happiness happens.
In times of stress, change and disruption stop. Sit. Feet flat on floor. Do Mindful Breathing. Move one foot to the side. Keep breathing mindfully. Remain still and quiet. Bring yourself in balance. Move your other foot. Bring yourself to balance.
What’s happening? Your body teaches your psyche that you are present during shifts and changes. Your emotions settle and your mind clears. You are free to make wise decisions and take wise action.
Joanna Poppink, MFT is a Los Angeles psychotherapist specializing in eating disorder recovery for adults and counseling for their loved ones. https://www.eatingdisorderrecvery.com
Contact information, sign up for mailing list, make appt. Initial telephone consultation is free.
* Workshop Outline:
1. Basic challenges in recovering from your own eating disorder and how to meet them.
2. Basic challenges in helping your loved one recover from their eating disorder and how to meet them.
3. Personal private work, communication styles and boundary recognition issues are described.
4. Where love helps, where it gets in the way, knowing the difference and shifting to recovery mode is explored.
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In the above list the last three items should really be first.
When you are overloaded with stress, when your mind isn't working the way you know it can, when your emotions are haywire, when you can't bring yourself to the tasks you need to accomplish, stop looking for explanations, reasons, in depth understanding, etc.
You can't get there is such a state. What's needed is to pull yourself back on a healthy path. That means, without thinking, judgment, rationalization or excuses, go to:
eat when hungry
drink when thirsty
sleep when tired
Once you are physically nourished, hydrated and rested you will be amazed at the improvement in your thinking and emotional stability.
This is a particular challenge for people with an eating disorder. Funny, isn't it? So much focus on the body while simultaneously neglecting what the body needs for health and survival.
Eat, drink, sleep and then look to the deep inner work.
Let me know what happens when you do.
Regarding the inner work, I'm working with my T on compassion. Being compassionate with myself and tuning in to my own suffering is something I am finding hard to tolerate and be with. For some reason it in hurts my heart and I feel overwhelmed. T says it could be grief or sadness for that part of me. I find it hard to watch anyone suffer and always want to help. When I look at my own suffering I feel panicky because feel like I don't know how to help and it feels so big. So I don't stay with it very long. I'm going to keep trying though.
I am going to work hard on Joanna's challenge this week. The sleep part is the most challenging also because I stay up so late at night just to have that time to myself. I am around people all day and my kids at night. Once they go to bed, I find myself forcing myself to stay up just to enjoy the quiet time to myself. I am not sure how to remedy this because, although I know my body needs more rest, I also know it needs time to debrief from my day and have some quiet time for myself. I guess I could use some suggestions on this one...
I like cozy quilts, big back up pillow support as I write my last journal entry, art on the walls that bring me pleasure.
Follow feng shui principles. Close your closet door. Have the room be clean and neat. Don't face a mirror from your bed. See that you can see the door from your bed so you are in the power position in the room.
It all helps. If you make yur bedroom and your bed a nourishing place for you to be, gradually you'll be glad to go there.
Again, like in so many challenges, the key is "gradual."
The sooner you go to sleep the more nourishing rest you get and perhaps some healing dreams. Mornings and days are different when you begin them refreshed.
And about the mirror. Many people, including me, have learned to cover mirrors in hotel rooms when they face the bed. It makes sleep much more peaceful and restful.
The key is that the room is called bedroom. Not changing room, dressing room, tv room, laundry room, etc. Our challenge is to make it a real bed room for us, one that welcomes us to rest, nourish, refuel and discover healing dreams.
I have been thinking about a re-do on my bedroom. When I think about changing the color scheme, or moving things around, or adding a throw rug, a new comforter, etc., it does make me feel good. My challenge is finding time and money for myself. I am so broke and drained after taking care of my job and my kids. I know these are things that I need to plan out. I know it is important to care for myself.
I have started a little garden on my patio. I have herbs and flowers and plants. It is small right now, but I am adding to it. I also obtained a very shabby chic rocking chair which I put out and added a very pretty blue throw pillow to cushion the seat. (the patio is covered). In the evenings I enjoy leaving the french doors open to view my work and my kids love to sit outside and do their homework. It is very peaceful out there. All this to say that I have taken some notes here and am trying to do peaceful and calming things for myself. It is small, but it is rewarding.
I am going to work on my bedroom today. I don't need to buy anything new, I just need to straighten up the stuff I already have I am going to try and sleep there tonight.
Keep you posted.
(I put the mirror over my living room mantle...looks pretty good in there..)
Thanks for the encouragement!
Now, please be gentle with yourself and find a routine you can live with that allows you to maintain what you've created. You are moving chi around, honoring yourself and your children, celebrating everyone's creativity and clearing space for what you want and need to come into your lives.
I have a mirror over my mantle, too. I love how it doubles plants and art.
Remember, the mirror will double whatever it reflects so watch out for clutter. Double what you care about.
I love hearing that you had "a totally peace filled day." And I hope this inspires others who are quietly reading this site.
Brava, Tracy. And now, the challenge is going to bed earlier and creating an ordinary routine that maintains what you've created. Gradual, gradual, gradual until it's just a normal part of every day living.
I need to translate some of this to my office at work. My desk looks a mess...paperwork everywhere. I need to make it a more peaceful place to go when I am not in the "war zone" of my unit. A retreat, so to speak.